I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
