we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
