I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
