Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
