Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
