You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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