Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My bed smells like the plague
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
