We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
