drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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