ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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