you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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