Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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