yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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