Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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