He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
