It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
