apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
