I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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