Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
