She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
