Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize