he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
