my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
