I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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