I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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