My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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