im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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