I want to stick my p in your. b.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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