So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
