i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
