Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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