You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
