Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
