I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
