I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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