last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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