I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
