It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm both gender and math confused
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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