Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
