So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize