Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
