Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
