smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
