I accidentally had phone sex last night
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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