Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
