feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ugly people sure do ruin things
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Dick very happy bro
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
