after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
