i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My cat gives me a boner
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
