plz talk dirty to me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize