bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
